生命重整系列
(六)永不止息的饒恕 Unceasing Forgiveness
- 查考經文：創世記 Genesis 45:5-8; 馬太福音 Matthew 18:21-35
A. 破冰
一對夫婦，因為有溝通不良，造成彼此關係越來越惡劣。作丈夫的自知對妻子有所虧欠，決志改善夫婦關係。剛遇到太太的生日，所以他先安排好媬姆看小孩，再訂了一間很有氣氛又有無敵海景的餐廳。到那日丈夫帶著一束鮮花，胸有成竹的去約會，但只見太太低著頭，滿面淚痕，追問之下，太太回答說：「這是我們結婚十三年來，你第一次想起我的生日，這使我想起十三年來所受的痛苦 ………」
不肯饒恕，本身不是一種情緒，卻是很多情緒之根，它深植於一個人的心靈，在一個人內心最深的隱密處，是製造很多負面情緒的工廠。
1. 請問一個不肯饒恕的人，可能會對當事人有甚麼負面的情緒或莫名的行動？
2. 「Forgive & Forget」容易嗎？難在那裡？
B. 研經／討論
3. 根據以下經文，這位「有情」的上帝怎樣Forget我們得罪祂的地方？可否幫助我們對饒恕下一個新的定義嗎?
「我要赦免他們的罪孽，不再記念他們的罪惡。這是耶和華說的。」（耶利米書31:34）
「惟有我為自己的緣故塗抹你的過犯；我也不記念你的罪惡。」（以賽亞書43:25）
「主耶和華啊！祢若究察罪孽（NIV: kept a record of sins），誰能站得住呢？但在祢有赦免之恩。」（詩篇130:3-4）
- 饒恕是一個「刻意」或「順其自然」的行動？
- 為何每次聖經先提到「赦免」（Forgive），才提到不再記念（Forget）？是否要先「赦免」才可以「忘記」呢？
- 為何神是「為自己緣故」塗抹我們的過犯？「赦免」是否在乎對方的行動與反應嗎?
看完以上經文和這個例子後，可否為「饒恕」一詞下一個定義？
「饒恕」不容易，人必須先處理自己負面的情緒，為所發生的事件夾重新整理，塗抹了舊名稱，改一個新名，才放回我們記憶中，讓再打開記事夾時，會產生一種新的感受。
5. 有組員可否為我們分享約瑟被賣到埃及的故事？請問數年後, 約瑟怎樣看這件沉痛的經歷（創世記 Genesis 45:5-8）? 神怎樣醫治了約瑟的傷痛及幫助他處理自己負面的情緒？
5現在，不要因為把我賣到這裡自憂自恨。這是 神差我在你們以先來，為要保全生命。6現在這地的饑荒已經二年了，還有五年不能耕種，不能收成。7 神差我 在你們以先來，為要給你們存留餘種在世上，又要大施拯救，保全你們的生命。8這樣看來，差我到這裡來的不是你們，乃是 神。他又使我如法老的父，作他全家 的主，並埃及全地的宰相。(創世記 Genesis 45:5-8)
6. 約瑟的經歷, 怎樣教導我們處理被人得罪後的傷痛?
7. 請讀馬太福音18:21-35
21那時，彼得進前來，對耶穌說：主阿，我弟兄得罪我，我當饒恕他幾次呢？到七次可以麼？
22耶穌說：我對你說，不是到七次，乃是到七十個七次。
23天國好像一個王要和他僕人算賬。24才算的時候，有人帶了一個欠一千萬銀子的來。25因為他沒有甚麼償還之物，主人吩咐把他和他妻子兒女，並一切所有的都賣了償還。
26那僕人就俯伏拜他，說：主阿，寬容我，將來我都要還清。27那僕人的主人就動了慈心，把他釋放了，並且免了他的債。
28那僕人出來，遇見他的一個同伴欠他十兩銀子，便揪著他，掐住他的喉嚨，說：你把所欠的還我！
29他的同伴就俯伏央求他，說：寬容我罷，將來我必還清。
30他不肯，竟去把他下在監裡，等他還了所欠的債。31眾同伴看見他所做的事就甚憂愁，去把這事都告訴了主人。
32於是主人叫了他來，對他說：你這惡奴才！你央求我，我就把你所欠的都免了，33你不應當憐恤你的同伴，像我憐恤你麼？34主人就大怒，把他交給掌刑的，等他還清了所欠的債。
35你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄，我天父也要這樣待你們了。
- 彼得問耶穌甚麼問題？耶穌怎樣回答被得? 就算人可以饒恕別人490次, 也是一個縱容, 對對方沒有好處, 你認為耶穌意思是什麼呢?
- 那「惡奴才」的問題在那裏? 你認為耶穌所講的比喻怎樣解答彼得的疑問?
- C.S. Lewis曾說：「饒恕是超越人類所謂的公正，它赦免那些完全無法寬恕的罪行」，你認為對嗎？為什麼?
- 這段經文怎樣可以幫助人改寫別人得罪我們的文件夾？
C. 反醒／應用
8. 每一個心中都有一個黑暗的監獄，放置了許多得罪我們的人，久不久我們會把這些人拉出監獄，重新指責審判他們一番，再把他們收監。
請在神面前安靜片刻，寫下這些人的名字，再思想神給你看到可以怎樣改寫他們得罪你的回憶？
9. 我相信或多或小, 每一個人都有饒恕別人的實例 (若不, 我們的日記簿會容不下)請分享（不要分享名字）一些你成功饒恕的例子? 你能夠forgive and forget的關健在那裏?
10. 神也有用一些得罪你的人建立你的生命嗎? 請分享及彼此代禱。
Journey Fellowship Bible Study
Transforming, Overcoming, and the Power of God Series
(6) - Unceasing Forgiveness
Scripture: Genesis 45:5-8; Matthew 18:21-35
A. Ice Breaking
The relationship between a husband and wife is getting worse because they don't have quality communication. The husband realizes he hasn't done enough to be a good husband, so he decides to improve the relationship. The wife's birthday is coming. The husband sees that as a good opportunity. He arranges the baby sitting service and reserves a table at a fancy restaurant with romantic atmosphere and great view. On the day of the wife's birthday, the husband brings a nice flower bouquet with him and asks his wife to go out for dinner. He thinks everything is going to be great, but the wife weeps with sadness. The husband keeps asking what has been going wrong. The wife says, "We've been married for 13 years. This is the first time you remember and think of doing something special on my birthday. It really brings back all the bad memories and pains through the 13 years."
Being unable to forgive is not an emotion. It is the root of a few different kinds of emotions. It's an "negative emotion manufacture" deep inside the heart.
1. If a person ("unforgiver") is unable to forgive a person ("unforgivee"), what kinds of negative emotions may the "unforgiver" have? What actions may the "unforgiver" do to the "unforgivee"?
2. Is "forgive and forget" easy? If yes, how hard and why?
B. Scripture Discussion
3. According to the following verses, how does our loving God forget our sins? How do the following verses help us to define forgiveness?
"For I will forgive their wickedness
and will remember their sins no more." (Jeremiah 31:34)
"I, even I, am he who blots out
your transgressions, for my own sake,
and remembers your sins no more. (Isaiah 43:25)
If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared. (Psalms 130:3-4)
- Is forgiveness an natural act or something we need to intentionally put some effort to carry out?
- Why is the idea of "forget" mentioned in all the above verses which teach us about "forgiveness"?
- In Jeremiah 31:34, why did our God say "For I will..."? Is "forgive" an active or passive action?
4. The mother of Martin Luther King went to visit the murderer of her son. The murderer, a young man, apologized to her. She told him that she had already forgiven him for a long time.
According the above case and scriptures, can we give "forgiveness" a definition?
"To forgive" is not easy. A person has to deal with all his negative emotions, recategorize the incidence, and then see the incidence with a new perspective. It's like renaming a folder from "Bitterness" to "Happiness" in our PCs.
5. Can anyone briefly tell the story about Joseph being sold to Egypt? A few years after being sold to Egypt, how did Joseph see the incidence (Genesis 45:5-8)? How did God heal Joesph's bitterness and help him to deal with his negative emotions?
45:5 And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. 6 For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no plowing and reaping. 7 But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. 8 "So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt.
6. How does Joseph's experience teach us to deal with the pain which is because some people offend us?
7. Read Matthew 18:21-35
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive someone who sins against me? Up to seven times?" 22 Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. 23 "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 26 "The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27 The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. 28 "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. [g] He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. 29 "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' 30 "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. 32 "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive a brother or sister from your heart."
- What was Peter's question? How did Jesus answer him? Even we're able to forgive a person 490 times, we may be just spoiling him. It does no good to him. What did Jesus really mean?
- What was wrong with the "wicked servant"? How did the story answer Peter's question?
- C. S. Lewis taught us that forgiving is something which goes beyond the fairness. Forgiving includes forgiving those unforgivable sins. Do you agree with him? Why?
- How does the above verses teach us to rename the folders (e.g. from "Bitterness" to "Happiness") in our mind?
C. Application
8. There is a dark prison inside every one of us. We put all those people who has offended us in those prisons. Sometimes, we would like to temporary release some of them, judge them again, and then put them into the prison again.
Now quietly think about those prisoners in your mind. Think how God can help you to use another perspective to look at those persons.
9. Share with us a case in which you have forgiven a person. What is the key factor which helps you to forgive and forget?
10. Did God use those people, who had offended you, to train you spiritually? Please share with us and then pray.
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